Turn Failure to Success by Asking Better Questions
A friend asks, “What are some good practices to implement when you feel stuck on the personal development trail?” Another asks, "How can I transform failure to success?"
If you feel “stuck”, with little progress, or when trying to transform failure to success, you want real answers. When you aren't getting the right answers, it means you are not asking the right questions. People often spend a lot of time looking for some external source to provide them their answer. The real key, however, is that the answers will come from within (your only source for real truth), when you ask the right questions.
After a failure, ask yourself, “Do I believe I can accomplish my goal?” Self-confidence is one of the most important ingredients to success!
When I work with athletes to help them overcome performance blocks, I help them step back away from the goal that they don't know how to achieve and start with a focus on what they DO KNOW how to do. A player struggling to hit home-runs DOES NOT have confidence to believe he can hit home-runs, but he can have the confidence and focus on hitting singles and doubles. We then make adjustments, physically and mentally, there. As the confidence for hitting singles and doubles builds, the belief in the possibility for hitting home-runs also builds. Soon you can't stop the player from hitting over the fence. This is failure to success!
If you are standing in pitch black darkness, it's very difficult to light a lantern. But if you stand in the light and light your lantern, you can easily walk into the darkness and see!
To get “unstuck”, to overcome any failure, step back into the light. Don't focus on what you don't know, but rather FOCUS ON WHAT YOU DO KNOW. Assess what you are thankful for (gratitude is a great tool), then review your talents, accomplishments, virtues, and abilities. From a position of light and confidence, you are ready to start asking the right questions such as:
- What do I really want? (short term, medium term, long term)
- Am I congruent with what I want? (does every part of me: logical, spiritual, emotional, and physical want this too?)
- If I perceive this to be a lofty goal, what steps leading up to the goal can I take, which I believe I can accomplish? (If I presently don't believe I can hit home-runs, what singles can I believe are possible?)
- There is real strength in numbers. Others can also bring new perspectives and ideas. Who can be a mentor, coach, support, or positive influence as part of my team to accomplish this goal?
- Who knows more than I do or has proven experience regarding this goal?
- Who has skills that I don't yet have which may help this goal?
- Who is creative or can provide a different view to help this goal?
- Who believes in me and will support me during challenging times?
- What weaknesses or mental demons may try to prevent this goal and how can I attack them and turn them into strengths? (rather than ignore your deny your weaknesses and demons, face them)
Failure to success happens when you understand that failures are the steps to success, and you keep trying.
This should get you started. If you have any other ideas, questions or wish to talk specifically about a goal, let us know and we'll dig deeper.
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